Sex Scene in my novel Horizon (Explicit Material: Sexual Content and Language)

I just wanted to share with you guys a sex scene I wrote for my relaunch of Horizon in November. I’ve never really tried this out and it may be a little risky for me as a writer, but I wanted feedback as to if I’m going too far outside of the genre of Science Fiction/Thriller/Romance. I’m trying to avoid going into the genre of erotica and the best way to get feedback about this is by asking people who may know on here. So, here it is, Chapter 3 of Horizon.

May 26, 2113

Pacific Ocean

Great Barrier Reef

The water was choppy and Aaron struggled to see the boat in the distance. Sandy and he had wandered further than he had thought. He pointed to the boat and led the way back. The clouds were darker than when they started the dive and bolts of lightning flashed in the distance. Aaron reached for the ladder at the stern of the boat and pulled himself out of the water. He offered his hand to Sandy and pulled her tank to lighten the load for her. Rain feel around them as a mild storm was passing overhead.

“We’d better get out of here before the storm gets worse,” Aaron said, ripping the tank off his back and leaning it against the seat. He ran to the ladder leaving Sandy alone with all of the equipment.

“I thought the weather was supposed to be clear skies today!” Sandy yelled from the aft.

Aaron turned the key, but the dreaded click of a dead battery was the sound he was hoping he would not hear today. He slammed his fist against the panel and still nothing. Sandy climbed up the ladder and poked her head over his right shoulder. She chuckled and patted Aaron on the back.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Yeah.” He shook his head and stretched his arms out with his fingers curled over the wheel. “Not today!” he screamed, kicking the lower panel with the side of his foot. Each time his foot connected with the steel it hurt more. “Ugh! We’re stuck out here.”

“Well, no point in waiting for lightning to strike us. Let’s just go down to the cabin and wait it out. It’s the only option we have.” Sandy smiled innocently.

Aaron looked back up at her with bloodshot eyes and an irritated glare. “How is it that my battery was working just fine before we left, but now it’s dead, Sandy, can you explain to me how that is possible?”

“Maybe it was an act of God, Aaron, or better yet maybe I did it because I have some sick twisted fantasy about you.” She climbed down the ladder. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure lightning can kill you. If we have a roof over our head, I’m pretty sure our survival rate in a storm increases tremendously.”

He watched her disappear down the stairs to the cabin. He twisted the key one more time, but it clicked multiple times and remained unresponsive to his efforts.

“Fuck it. Guess I might as well get comfortable while I wait for someone to find us,” he said, climbing down the ladder and stairs to his cabin.

Sandy walked out of the bathroom with the handle of Captain Morgan in her hand and a white towel wrapped over her head. She was already out of her wet suit and in her white bikini. Aaron grabbed a towel from the floor and patted his wet arms. His curiosities ensued as he watched her tilt the handle and take a swig of his liquor. She slid onto the bed on her stomach letting the curve to her buttocks rise as though waiting for Aaron to join her.

“You have to do that now?” he asked, sitting at the edge of the bed with caution.

“What? I was thirsty and I don’t like beer,” she whined.

“So you drink my rum? It’d probably be wise for me to fire you for drinking on the job now,” he laughed.

“You’re funny but last I checked employees get paid. Have you forgotten that you owe for at least three months of back salary?”

“I figured you’d eventually get the point and stop showing up for work.” He flopped backwards onto the bed and pressed his palms to his forehead. “I don’t even know how the hell we’re going to get back to the harbor.”

“I’m sure a boat will pass by soon. Just have to be patient.”

She set the handle of rum on the end table and rested her legs across the bed. Aaron turned his head towards her noticing her hard nipples pressing against his top. There was a distinctive shaded oval behind her white bikini that drove him wild, but he held back his sexual innuendo.

“What makes you think that?” he coughed and swallowed with a slight crack in his throat.

“Boats travel across here all the time especially deep sea fishermen boats.”

“Why is it that you’re the only woman I know that could pass for a dude?” he blurted.

“I have an older brother. He just grew on me as we got older.”

“Oh, you have a brother?” He wanted to change the subject, but his attention was focused on her body. He felt like a lousy sleeve ball having these feelings for Sandy. His intentions were more questionable now than when he interviewed her for the job. ‘Am I really that desperate?

“I use to but….” Her words were lost now, and Aaron was lost in the fascination of her smooth legs and flower shaped birth mark on her inner left thigh. He no longer had control and his pants were gradually getting tighter by the second. “I remember loving you so much.”

“Huh, what?” Aaron was startled by the last phrase and returned to reality as soon as that four letter word popped up in the conversation. “Could you repeat that last part again?”

“I remember loving him so much.”

Aaron stared at her with a confused look. “Your brother?”

“Yes? Geez, Aaron, do you ever listen to a woman without spacing out?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard when a woman is dressed like she’s ready to hop on a pole soon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she gawked and jokingly smacked his arm.

“I don’t know. Sorry, I was just admiring h-h-how beautiful you look,” he cringed. ‘Can’t even resist the urge of fucking your assistant can you, Aaron,’ he said to himself.

“Please, save me the vomit. I hear that just about every other minute when I’m out on the town.”

The hum of the rain was the only sound left in the cabin as he stood up. He peered out through the porthole at the sun poking in and out of the clouds over head. His feelings for Abigail were strong, but he was lost and broken. He struggled with his alcohol addiction for years and now he fell back into his old habits. He scratched the back of his head when he felt Sandy’s soft fingertips glide across his arm. Ripples of tiny bumps poked from his skin as a flush of adrenaline overwhelmed him. His face turned a shade of burgundy as he felt her fingers rustle in his hair. His eyelids grew heavy with relation as she moved her hands across his abs and against the solid mound between his legs.

He pulled himself away breathing heavy with nervousness and anxiety. His emotions were a mess inside of his chest and clarity was no longer present in his subconscious.

“I can’t do this. I love Abi and you know that. Let’s just calm down,” he stuttered in heavy gasps as Sandy crawled onto the bed. She whipped her legs around underneath her and curved her back so her breasts protruded enough to entice Aaron’s neglected member. “Please I can’t do this-.” He was cut short with her finger against his lips.

“You know you want this,” she whispered in his ear as she unclipped her top. Aaron watched it fall to the floor and instinctively glanced at her breasts. He placed his hands over his eyes and walked passed her into the cabin.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

She gently grabbed his shoulder and pulled his hand from his face. “Because you’re not like any other man I know, and we are currently stranded in the middle of the ocean.”

“I can’t do this though.”

“Oh, but you will once I….” She reached down to his inner thigh feeling his thickness in the palm of her hand. The veins rippled down to the base where she juggled his sack between her fingertips. “Mm, are you sure you don’t want me now?”

Aaron bit his lip and looked to Captain Morgan’s smile on the label of the rum. He returned his attention back to her feeling every muscle in his body relax from the tender touch of a woman. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him. His lips met hers halfway and he continued to nibble the side of her neck up to her earlobes. She unzipped the back of his wet suit and peeled it down his shoulders. Her lips touched each shoulder moving down his left arm and hand.

He pulled the rest of the suit off and kicked it to the side of the room as Sandy stepped back and removed her white bikini bottoms. His eyes were locked on the brown strip that ran from her clit to a few inches below her navel. He reached for her buttocks and lifted her into the air, tossing her onto the bed. Aaron frantically ripped the rest of his clothes from his body and dove between her legs. She tightened her thighs against his ears every time his tongue twisted and turned around her clit.

“Mm” she moaned, stretching her legs into the air.

He pulled himself back up to her face as he thrusted inside of her, feeling her warm juices wet his throbbing member. He lifted her legs above her head and leaned over her as he pressed harder and deeper inside of her.

Her nails dug into his back leaving thin pink lines across his shoulder blades. He pulled himself off of her and flipped her onto her stomach. He watched her cheeks ripple across her buttocks as he inserted himself into the wet hole that was begging for more. His muscles tensed and sweat glistened on his skin. He clenched a wad of blond hair and pulled her back to him.

“This didn’t happen,” he whispered with a growl.

Sandy squealed as she finally felt a warm sensation of cum and coincidentally Aaron came as well inside of her. She glanced over her shoulder biting her lower lip and flipping over onto her back. He tumbled next to her and let her vacate the chest of his body.

“It’s our little secret,” she responded out of breath.

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2 thoughts on “Sex Scene in my novel Horizon (Explicit Material: Sexual Content and Language)

  1. Not bad. Without context, though, it’s hard to say whether or not it ties into the rest of your novel.

    If you want hot sex scenes tutelage, try the later scenes in the Laurell K Hamilton – Anita Blake series. Ditto any Lori Foster romances.

    You need a little more work on the woman’s role (so that she cones across as a participant vs. a piece of sexual furniture, though.

    I think it would be stronger if you had a little more detail about what she wanted, and was feeling, and if she was the one whispering “This never happened” into his ear at the end.

    **** I am not a published author – I just have strong opinions *****

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, I appreciate your opinion. I may change it and tweak it. I don’t want it to go over the edge in erotica, but I’m thinking I need to do more research through other author’s because I’m not looking to go all Romance in this novel because it’s set up to be a Science Fiction Thriller. I’ll check out your suggestions and see what works for the plot of my story. Thanks again!

      Like

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