Who I Was…

I’m not proud of who I was two years ago. I don’t know if I’m resurfacing many of my memories because of recent events over the last few months, or I simply feel like there is a void gradually splitting open more everyday. Either way, I will never go back to that place. Everyday I push more and more to be productive and keep my past behind me. The strange thing is, it somehow finds its way back into my life like a twisted vine tightening its grip around my throat. Where did this all start though? Why do I always have the inkling that I am alone?

I don’t know if it was the constant heartache from being hurt by multiple people. If it was the fact that I felt like I didn’t amount to anything because everything I attempted to build always crumbled. Hell, I don’t even know if it’s the fact that depression still blackens my emotions like thick oil. I will say this though, I overcame a part of me that I thought would always hold a barring on my life. Debts, struggles, and worries were all the issues that built inside me and made me feel like there was no hope left for me. Let me tell you where I was in May last year and why I turned to Christ instead of committing suicide.

I had just left work at 11pm and it was a rough night. I was about to lose my car because I could barely afford the lease. My relationship was rocky because I was struggling with my own fears and doubts about what I could achieve. My life was a mess. I felt like David trying to hide every secret from everyone. I lied to everyone I came in contact with because I did not want them to know that my writing was actually a flop. Yes, my books were not selling and I was about to lose everything. I was scared!

The rain was pattering on my windshield and it was pitch black. I was listening to some rock music and listening to the chaos unfolding in the lyrics. I can’t remember what song I was listening to but I was pissed off. I was angry at God, my parents, my friends, and my life. I convinced myself that ending it that night would be the best course of action. A bullet to my head would be messy, so I figured a peaceful sleep with some drugs would make people bare to see my face in a casket at a funeral. Yes, I was really in the darkest depths of my consciousness convincing myself that death is the way to solve everyone’s problems in my life.

Eventually, my eyes were burning too much for me to continue driving so I pulled over. I turned the ignition off and stared through the sunroof, watching the water puddle on the roof. I reached for my phone and flipped through my contact list and cursed every person that I use to be able to talk to because I knew there was nothing they could say to convince me to stop what I was about to do. Then, there was some friends that I knew who didn’t even want to bother hearing what I had to say because they had their own problems and would simply brush me off like a mosquito.

I don’t know what led me to the moment where I clenched the wheel of my car and screamed out to Jesus for help. This was what I said if I remember correctly:

“Father, why have you done this to me? What am I doing? Who do YOU want ME to be? My life was great and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I lived a life that very few people get to actually experience. I’ve had it all. Why have you decided to lead me on this road? Why have you pulled my friends away and left me here alone? If you are real, why would you let me WANT to kill myself? Please, help me figure out something. There is nothing else for me and I am not going to make it! PLEASE!”

Little did I know a few moments later after really clenching the wheel did I feel chills ripple across my arms and chest. This was no ordinary feeling, it was like someone had wrapped their arms around me and rubbed my skin trying to comfort me. It was an eye opening experience. I took a deep breath and all the worry simply went away. Something inside me had changed and my perspective was gradually altering to wanting to go home and sleep.

A few days later, I went to church for the first time without it being a holiday in almost ten years. I was nervous and scared. I had always heard that church-goers were the most judgmental but after a few weeks of continuously going to church these people were trying to figure out who I was. I ended up going to bible studies with my dad there and even trying to get deeper into my faith after meeting more people there. Then, it all came together for me. I needed a community of people to talk to. I couldn’t handle all these burdens on my own, and God led me to where I needed to be.

It’s hard to believe where I was a year ago and where I am now but putting my faith in Jesus has led me on a road that I never thought would be there. Jesus gave me the strength to take leaps of faiths that I never thought I would have the courage to do. I ended up leaving my job, finishing my novel, starting a business, and accepting a role in a passion play. I’ve met a lot of amazing people along the way, but God filled the void. He has filled the void with people who care. Even as I write this, the tears are dropping from my eyelids because none of this was possible if I didn’t keep my faith in him. Jesus healed, he provided, and he gave me strength again. It’s truly amazing and I can’t stop thanking him.

Let go, Let God. It’s the only philosophy I go by now because even in hard times somehow he has protected me and kept my feet moving forward.

He Leads

I’ve been really thinking back lately to where I was mentally last year. There was many struggles in my and more worry than I can even imagine. It’s kind of amazing the 180 I took after I submitted myself to Jesus. It’s empowering to say that because before last April, I don’t think I could openly have said that. I will say, I was extremely selfish and stubborn for about seven to eight years of my life. (Possibly longer). It’s amazing what changes have occurred in my own life but simply saying, “Yes, I’ll do it.”

I used to say, “No,” many times. It was like the one word that kept me from having to obligate to anything. When I made the decision to finally break that chain of being comfortable and walking outside of that zone, my world changed. I use to be scared to even walk into a church without feeling like judgmental eyes were watching my every move, but it’s funny how those people were not like that. The churchgoers that I once thought were the most judgmental are some of the most loving and supportive people I have ever met in my life. It’s amazing how God has actually steered me away from the people that were actually causing all of my pain and suffering. It’s even more remarkable when he leads me back to those people and speak his word when they are in trying times.

The last two nights I performed in a play called “The Way of the Cross”. Honestly, I didn’t know how powerful the experience would be until last night. The last performance hit me harder than I could have ever expected. Although the last month or two has been a bit trying with all of the situations that only the deceiver could cause, somehow this amazing group of people came together and brought it to life. These moments are definitely the ones where the power of God roars in all of us.

I’ve met some amazing people over the last year and it has been amazing being able to walk this spiritual journey with Jesus. I have told many people my testimony and put it out there for many to see through this blog. Some of the most uncomfortable situations I have openly talked about without a flinch. Although my story is not as dramatic or chaotic as some, it’s still amazing to know that I was healed from my depression. It’s amazing how quick just being around a community of believers can pull you from the ashes of your own self pity and make you realize there is more to life than dragging your feet and worrying. Yes, concern is okay to have, but worry causes all kinds of mental illness.

Believe in Jesus. His Way is the only way. Much love.

Let Go, Let God.

I know many of you have probably heard this phrase many times. “Let Go, Let God.” I’ve been living by that for the last year. In all honesty though, I was that guy who continuously tried to bargain with God in my prayers, hoping that if I asked for something I could get it by adding that little “… I’ll do this… etc.” at the end of my prayers. What’s funny is all of those prayers were not answered at that specific time. It took three and a half years for me to finally realize what I was truly craving for in my life. Although having plenty of money and owning a yacht was the top picks on my cravings list, it was neither one of those. I found out that I can’t really live life without Christ in it. I was living in fear my whole life and yet the answer was right in front of me the whole time.

I remember last year when it finally hit me that God and Christ were always there. Yes, leaving my job as an assistant manager and failing at publishing a successful first novel were heart breaking. It was like everything was being ripped from me in an instance. Even depression decided to make itself comfortable inside of my unsettled mind. I lived through the thoughts of “What if” and “I hate this” for a long time. It took a year after stepping down from me position, at my job, to finally lay it all out to God and just ask “What are you trying to do with me?” At this time in my life, it was a weird question to ask because I lost my faith many years before. I was asking the same exact questions as anyone else I hung out with. “Why would God do this to good people? If he is real, why is there no proof of him?” All of these questions were not painful for me to ask three years ago, but now, I’m shocked at how losing my identity led me to BELIEVE again.

Here’s a scenario:

Imagine leaving your part time job for the night with distress and pain deep inside of you. You are struggling to pay the bills, you are questioning your relationship with your significant other, and you simply have lost all hope. The raindrops outside your windshield are enough to reverberate those emotions even harder inside your chest. It’s almost like everything around you knows what you are feeling. Tears fill your eyes and they are so swollen you are forced to pull over. First reaction, slam your fists against the steering wheel in anger. It doesn’t help. You reach for your phone and flip through every contact but you feel like the whole world is against you. You toss the thing in the back seat. A sinister thought creeps in your mind whispering, “Just be done with it. Be done with your life.”

The anxiety builds inside your chest like a balloon. You can feel the pressure against your chest and you almost want to explode. All hope is fading and the only thing that keeps creeping into your mind is, “You are already LOST. You SIN. No one LOVES you. There is NOTHING left for you. All you are is a washed up musician without any real talent or worth. Even writing has failed you. What worth are you to society?” These questions are tough for you to hear. All you can think is, “Yeah, you’re right.” You decide that taking your life would be better than watching everyone suffering around you by your choices. The only thing you can think of is to ask for forgiveness from Christ for being so weak and giving up.

I was the person in this scenario a year ago. My depression had run so deep to my core, I was ready to kill myself. Although the deceiver had me at his fingertips, something pulled me away. I prayed in fear because I did not know what as going to happen when I got home, but the remarkable thing is, goosebumps rippled across my arms and chest. It felt like I was being held. One of the scariest, yet memorable moments of my life. This was enough to prove to me that he is ALIVE in all of us. I ended up going straight to bed when I got home and woke up refreshed. I decided to go to church that next weekend because I had been inspired by a play my parents were in “The Way of the Cross.”

When I went to that play, I didn’t realize the impact it would have in my life because I would have never thought to go straight to Jesus. I continued to go to church on a regular basis and heard the phrase “Let Go, Let God.” I had a friend that I had not spoken to in almost eight years, possibly more message me on Facebook to see how I was. She even told me that something pulled her to talk to me and check and see if I’m okay. I mean, how crazy is that? At a time when I was living through chaos and rediscovering my identity, someone from my distant past steps in to minister to me. God brought a blessing to me to help me on my spiritual journey.

My financial struggles started to lighten. Of course, I lost material things that I loved, but I discovered those things weren’t the root of my happiness. I lost my car, my smartphone, my computer, but I did not lose my love for Christ. I joined a disciple study with the church, went to smaller bible studies, and now, I’m in that play “Way of the Cross.” I have met a plethora of people and even found my love for writing and editing cinematic trailers for books. All of these gifts that were useless when I was working a dead in job decided to return to my life and bring back my drive. I eventually found the courage to leave my job and start my own business. Even found time to write a book which will be out March 19. Now, I have discovered a hidden gift that I was always shy about, acting. I never thought I would be able to have the courage to stand in front of people to act out an event that means so much to the Christian community.

I wanted to write this because I struggle just as much as anyone else. The deceiver sits on my shoulder everyday, waiting for an opportunity to whisper in my ear. Today, the deceiver decided the opportune time was while I was acting out a monologue. The thoughts slithered in my ears. “You can’t play this part. You hardly know how to pronounce the words. Do you really think your shivers and shakes are unnoticed in the crowd? Ha! You are pathetic!” These were the thoughts drilling into my mind. I felt like a lost lamb, trying to escape a wolf. I sat in my car when I got home and pulled out the script, scanning through every line trying to figure out what I was getting myself into. With starting a business, promoting a book, and trying to memorize lines, I was frightened. It wasn’t until I heard the song “Who Am I” by Casting Crown. It really pulled me out of my fears. God is on my side and rooting for me. He led me in this direction for a reason, and I’m not going to let him down. I will never give up!

 

 

Thoughts

I was currently sitting here working on a teaser trailer for another author today, and I could not help but think about some of the things in my past. I’m not talking about like what I ate last week, or the events that happened last year. I am talking about the distant past about 10-11 years ago. In high school when I thought that was the make it or break it point of my life. Which college was I going to attend? How imperative it was to make straight A’s? Or these friends I currently have, will they be around in the next ten years?

The funny thing is none of these things really pulled through in my life so far. Friends… gone. College… dropped out. Now, I look at all of the photos and people I knew from high school on facebook and think, Wow! How simple it would be just to say Hey,how’s things been? Haven’t heard from you in years? Want to go have a beer?

Yeah, those kind of thoughts run through my mind, and I can only think how busy we all have become in out twenties to the point we forget. Our memories from when we were 17 or 18 kind of just dissipate into the air, and no longer have any significance in the back of our minds. Until we see pictures from the past. It’s funny how someone who lives thousands or even millions of miles away can have a great impact on a person’s life than the one that is simply a few blocks away. Are we becoming more reliant on the internet to meet our social needs? Or are we simply too shy to dive back into the waters that we were treading through a decade ago.

Honestly, I have lost a lot of friends over the last two-three years. It wasn’t because of them really. We had goals that we wanted to reach NOW! But we forgot about the ones we grew up with. We kind of just see them as tiny grains of sand in a pile. Is it just me or do we sometimes just turn to our past just to see how we are doing? I mean seriously, there are times when I actually research people just to see what they are doing now so I can make sure I am keeping up with my own life.

I know I felt like throughout middle school and high school… Even college I felt like I was sprinting. I didn’t think about anyone around me, much less care what they were doing at the time. Is it when we fall into a deep depression and want to take our own life that we finally realize this life is not just about ME! Honestly, it was for me. It took me almost ten years to realize the “I” and “Me” syndrome would be my ultimate downfall. Yes, I was a selfish person. Yes, I didn’t give people the amount of attention they should’ve received, and yes, it was all about ME.

When I sit here typing about this, the thoughts of who I was keep creeping in. I was consumed by my own pride for a long time. Then, I hit a speed bump and asked for Christ’s help. I didn’t go to my friends from the past, my mentors, or my own family. I went to the one person that I had abandoned for a decade, and you know what that did for me. It healed me from the mental and physical anguish I was going through. It brought me to a place of peace.

I sit here a year later from when I was in the darkest places of my life,and I’ve realized that community is the only way to pull yourself out of your ruts. Yes, life has been a struggle. There have been rough patches where the fear consumed me. At one time, I remained locked away in the dungeons of my own mind, but some how the key was revealed to me. I’m thankful I am still here to write books and show readers the world of my imagination, but I can’t accept all the credit. It was all the people who are currently impacting my life they have given the motivation to keep pressing on. For that I thank all of you.

Sex Scene in my novel Horizon (Explicit Material: Sexual Content and Language)

I just wanted to share with you guys a sex scene I wrote for my relaunch of Horizon in November. I’ve never really tried this out and it may be a little risky for me as a writer, but I wanted feedback as to if I’m going too far outside of the genre of Science Fiction/Thriller/Romance. I’m trying to avoid going into the genre of erotica and the best way to get feedback about this is by asking people who may know on here. So, here it is, Chapter 3 of Horizon.

May 26, 2113

Pacific Ocean

Great Barrier Reef

The water was choppy and Aaron struggled to see the boat in the distance. Sandy and he had wandered further than he had thought. He pointed to the boat and led the way back. The clouds were darker than when they started the dive and bolts of lightning flashed in the distance. Aaron reached for the ladder at the stern of the boat and pulled himself out of the water. He offered his hand to Sandy and pulled her tank to lighten the load for her. Rain feel around them as a mild storm was passing overhead.

“We’d better get out of here before the storm gets worse,” Aaron said, ripping the tank off his back and leaning it against the seat. He ran to the ladder leaving Sandy alone with all of the equipment.

“I thought the weather was supposed to be clear skies today!” Sandy yelled from the aft.

Aaron turned the key, but the dreaded click of a dead battery was the sound he was hoping he would not hear today. He slammed his fist against the panel and still nothing. Sandy climbed up the ladder and poked her head over his right shoulder. She chuckled and patted Aaron on the back.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Yeah.” He shook his head and stretched his arms out with his fingers curled over the wheel. “Not today!” he screamed, kicking the lower panel with the side of his foot. Each time his foot connected with the steel it hurt more. “Ugh! We’re stuck out here.”

“Well, no point in waiting for lightning to strike us. Let’s just go down to the cabin and wait it out. It’s the only option we have.” Sandy smiled innocently.

Aaron looked back up at her with bloodshot eyes and an irritated glare. “How is it that my battery was working just fine before we left, but now it’s dead, Sandy, can you explain to me how that is possible?”

“Maybe it was an act of God, Aaron, or better yet maybe I did it because I have some sick twisted fantasy about you.” She climbed down the ladder. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure lightning can kill you. If we have a roof over our head, I’m pretty sure our survival rate in a storm increases tremendously.”

He watched her disappear down the stairs to the cabin. He twisted the key one more time, but it clicked multiple times and remained unresponsive to his efforts.

“Fuck it. Guess I might as well get comfortable while I wait for someone to find us,” he said, climbing down the ladder and stairs to his cabin.

Sandy walked out of the bathroom with the handle of Captain Morgan in her hand and a white towel wrapped over her head. She was already out of her wet suit and in her white bikini. Aaron grabbed a towel from the floor and patted his wet arms. His curiosities ensued as he watched her tilt the handle and take a swig of his liquor. She slid onto the bed on her stomach letting the curve to her buttocks rise as though waiting for Aaron to join her.

“You have to do that now?” he asked, sitting at the edge of the bed with caution.

“What? I was thirsty and I don’t like beer,” she whined.

“So you drink my rum? It’d probably be wise for me to fire you for drinking on the job now,” he laughed.

“You’re funny but last I checked employees get paid. Have you forgotten that you owe for at least three months of back salary?”

“I figured you’d eventually get the point and stop showing up for work.” He flopped backwards onto the bed and pressed his palms to his forehead. “I don’t even know how the hell we’re going to get back to the harbor.”

“I’m sure a boat will pass by soon. Just have to be patient.”

She set the handle of rum on the end table and rested her legs across the bed. Aaron turned his head towards her noticing her hard nipples pressing against his top. There was a distinctive shaded oval behind her white bikini that drove him wild, but he held back his sexual innuendo.

“What makes you think that?” he coughed and swallowed with a slight crack in his throat.

“Boats travel across here all the time especially deep sea fishermen boats.”

“Why is it that you’re the only woman I know that could pass for a dude?” he blurted.

“I have an older brother. He just grew on me as we got older.”

“Oh, you have a brother?” He wanted to change the subject, but his attention was focused on her body. He felt like a lousy sleeve ball having these feelings for Sandy. His intentions were more questionable now than when he interviewed her for the job. ‘Am I really that desperate?

“I use to but….” Her words were lost now, and Aaron was lost in the fascination of her smooth legs and flower shaped birth mark on her inner left thigh. He no longer had control and his pants were gradually getting tighter by the second. “I remember loving you so much.”

“Huh, what?” Aaron was startled by the last phrase and returned to reality as soon as that four letter word popped up in the conversation. “Could you repeat that last part again?”

“I remember loving him so much.”

Aaron stared at her with a confused look. “Your brother?”

“Yes? Geez, Aaron, do you ever listen to a woman without spacing out?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard when a woman is dressed like she’s ready to hop on a pole soon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she gawked and jokingly smacked his arm.

“I don’t know. Sorry, I was just admiring h-h-how beautiful you look,” he cringed. ‘Can’t even resist the urge of fucking your assistant can you, Aaron,’ he said to himself.

“Please, save me the vomit. I hear that just about every other minute when I’m out on the town.”

The hum of the rain was the only sound left in the cabin as he stood up. He peered out through the porthole at the sun poking in and out of the clouds over head. His feelings for Abigail were strong, but he was lost and broken. He struggled with his alcohol addiction for years and now he fell back into his old habits. He scratched the back of his head when he felt Sandy’s soft fingertips glide across his arm. Ripples of tiny bumps poked from his skin as a flush of adrenaline overwhelmed him. His face turned a shade of burgundy as he felt her fingers rustle in his hair. His eyelids grew heavy with relation as she moved her hands across his abs and against the solid mound between his legs.

He pulled himself away breathing heavy with nervousness and anxiety. His emotions were a mess inside of his chest and clarity was no longer present in his subconscious.

“I can’t do this. I love Abi and you know that. Let’s just calm down,” he stuttered in heavy gasps as Sandy crawled onto the bed. She whipped her legs around underneath her and curved her back so her breasts protruded enough to entice Aaron’s neglected member. “Please I can’t do this-.” He was cut short with her finger against his lips.

“You know you want this,” she whispered in his ear as she unclipped her top. Aaron watched it fall to the floor and instinctively glanced at her breasts. He placed his hands over his eyes and walked passed her into the cabin.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

She gently grabbed his shoulder and pulled his hand from his face. “Because you’re not like any other man I know, and we are currently stranded in the middle of the ocean.”

“I can’t do this though.”

“Oh, but you will once I….” She reached down to his inner thigh feeling his thickness in the palm of her hand. The veins rippled down to the base where she juggled his sack between her fingertips. “Mm, are you sure you don’t want me now?”

Aaron bit his lip and looked to Captain Morgan’s smile on the label of the rum. He returned his attention back to her feeling every muscle in his body relax from the tender touch of a woman. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him. His lips met hers halfway and he continued to nibble the side of her neck up to her earlobes. She unzipped the back of his wet suit and peeled it down his shoulders. Her lips touched each shoulder moving down his left arm and hand.

He pulled the rest of the suit off and kicked it to the side of the room as Sandy stepped back and removed her white bikini bottoms. His eyes were locked on the brown strip that ran from her clit to a few inches below her navel. He reached for her buttocks and lifted her into the air, tossing her onto the bed. Aaron frantically ripped the rest of his clothes from his body and dove between her legs. She tightened her thighs against his ears every time his tongue twisted and turned around her clit.

“Mm” she moaned, stretching her legs into the air.

He pulled himself back up to her face as he thrusted inside of her, feeling her warm juices wet his throbbing member. He lifted her legs above her head and leaned over her as he pressed harder and deeper inside of her.

Her nails dug into his back leaving thin pink lines across his shoulder blades. He pulled himself off of her and flipped her onto her stomach. He watched her cheeks ripple across her buttocks as he inserted himself into the wet hole that was begging for more. His muscles tensed and sweat glistened on his skin. He clenched a wad of blond hair and pulled her back to him.

“This didn’t happen,” he whispered with a growl.

Sandy squealed as she finally felt a warm sensation of cum and coincidentally Aaron came as well inside of her. She glanced over her shoulder biting her lower lip and flipping over onto her back. He tumbled next to her and let her vacate the chest of his body.

“It’s our little secret,” she responded out of breath.

Interview with the Awethors Featuring Kris Nacole

Welcome to the first post of my new series, Interview with the Awethors! If you know anyone who may be interested in an interview with me, please send all inquiries to lloyd.jr@aol.com. Today, what better way to kick this new series off than to have Romance novelist Kris Nacole join us and talk a little about herself and her recently released novel “Love Him Back”!

Holding my first book!

William: Thank you for joining us today, Kris.

Kris: Thank you, William for having me here.

William: So Kris, what inspired you to write “Love Him Back”?

Kris: I have a friend who is an author, and she kind of gave me the push I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and go for it. My oldest son also said something to me that kept me going when I wanted to quit. He said: “Mom, you’ve always told us that we can do anything we want and should follow our dreams, so you need to do that too.” He was right. I needed to lead by example and show them they can achieve anything…so I did it.

William: Smart young man you have there. Were you in the military, Kris? You seem to have a lot of knowledge of the field.

Kris: Yes. I was in the Air Force. I loved my time in the military and often wish I could go back and experience it all over again. Those years were some of the best of my life.

William: I know this may sound repetitive, and forgive me for that, but who or what inspires you to write military romance?

Kris: Ha-ha, it’s fine. Actually, I’ve always loved reading military romances. I was in the military myself and have always been fascinated with the military life. I felt like I could connect to my readers so much through my experiences traveling the world. Plus, there’s nothing like a man in uniform. 😉

William: *Spoiler Alert* For everyone who has already read “Love Him Back”, If there was one word to describe your protagonist what would it be? And the antagonist?

Kris: *Spoiler Alert* 

Protagonist: Hero—I would like to think of Chesney and Zane both as heroes. The reason being they both not only served in the military, but they both also fight a battle within themselves that threatens both of their happiness. As a reader said in a review, they both needed to find each other even though they didn’t know it.

Antagonist: In my book there are two ugly truths that threaten the love between my characters. Abuse for Chesney and PTSD for Zane. Chesney’s abuse haunts her and threatens her relationship with Zane many times. Zane’s PTSD makes him shut down and push Chesney away. They both have to fight harder than they ever had to come out on top. Okay, I guess that was more than one word… oops.

William: It’s okay. It’s always nice to hear a writer’s passion for their characters. Now, just to get into your own personal library, are there any favorite authors that you enjoy reading?

Kris: I have a lot of favorite authors. It’s hard to narrow it down to only a few! I guess if I had to choose, it would be Nicholas Sparks, Stephen King, and Stephanie Meyer. A couple of “new to me authors” I really like are S. E. Rise, Gail Olmsted, Melanie Dawn and DM Cain. There’s really too many to choose from. I’m a book nerd.

William: Obviously, you read other genres outside of romance because of the authors you just listed, but are there any others that interest you?

Kris: Yes. Absolutely. It really depends on what kind of mood I’m in. One day I may want to read a mushy romance novel that makes me ugly cry, and the next I may want to read a horror book that makes my heart race and makes me want to sleep with the lights on. Fantasy/sci-fi books are also books I like to escape to from time to time. All depends on the mood really.

William: It’s a breath of fresh air to know that many authors expand their horizons with other genres. A true testament to a great writer. Before we wrap things up, do you have any tips or words of encouragement for aspiring writers out there?

Kris: I’m going to try not to get too mushy here. I guess the one thing I would tell aspiring writers out there, is: Never let anyone stand in your way. Taking the first step is the hardest. It is scary stepping into the unknown and opening yourself up for the world to peer into your mind. Be yourself, be proud of your work, and never let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. A few people tried to discourage me from writing and thought I would never actually do it let alone succeed. I proved them wrong as I made it to the top 100 list in military romance within three weeks of publishing. It can be done. It is hard work. You may cry, want to give up, and doubt yourself at times, but that’s normal. Keep pushing forward and write from your heart. Let the story tell itself. YOU are good enough and can do this. The feeling you get when you hit publish and hold your book in your hands for the first time makes all the struggles worth it. Dream big. Believe in yourself. Inspire others.

Will: Thank you for joining us today, Kris Nacole and answering these questions for the bloggers and readers out there.

Kris: It was my pleasure to participate, William!

Don’t miss out on her next novel, “Hart of Country”  a western romance coming out in 2016!

3D-stack-promo

Check out her first novel “Love Him Back” at any of the buy links below! You won’t regret this tear jerking love story!

Purchase links and website info:

Amazon US: http://amzn.com/B014BSUGF0
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B014BSUGF0
Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B014BSUGF0
Barnes & Noble: http://tinyurl.com/oxqshnr
iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/ne8ler6
Smashwords: http://tinyurl.com/ooo7bj4
Kobo: http://tinyurl.com/oyafa9c

www.krisnacole.com

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Here’s the link to my author facebook page. This is where you will find more interesting details about my novel, “Awaken Within the Darkness”, the first installment to The Temperament Scepter Series.

I will also keep you guys updated on any upcoming events/ book releases. Also, if you have any questions for me, or any of the amazing artists, editors, or readers, please feel free to ask. We welcome all and anything that you guys are curious about. Thanks again for your support and love.

And did I mention a possible Book trailer for Horizon soon?

Connecting the Dots

Today has been a very inspirational and encouraging day. A lot of the questions about my life and where I am being guided have finally pieced together. There are still some questions that are constantly pressing deep inside of me, but I am gradually finding the voice to express how I feel in those moments.

I had many memories of small moments that have led me to where I am at now from all of the pride I had for myself, the jealousy of others that did better than me, and all of my selfish ways. During my days in high school eight years ago, I had a huge ego. I thought that the world revolved around me and I could do whatever I wanted. My life was based around a spoiled kid who went to mom and dad for anything that I needed at the time. Especially if I ran into trouble along the way, they were the first ones I ran to for help. There are constant things that happen throughout people’s lives to bring them back to the Lord and in every way, it turns out to be a beautiful story that is filled with encouragement for others who have the opportunity to hear a person’s life. Well, I’m going to summarize all of the important moments of my life that led me here.

Learning Music-

I learned how to play music in high school, and I was very talented at it. I played tuba in the Wind Symphony, and sousaphone in the marching band. The goosebumps and special moments I experienced performing made me feel like I was at bliss with myself. There was nothing that could take away the feelings that music brought to my heart. When I reached my Senior year of high school, I traveled across Europe and performed at many historical locations across the continent. It was an amazing adventure that created a new perspective of what I wanted to do with my music.

Back home, I put together a small rock band and enjoyed creating music. It was like we were all connected until we started finding new members and replacing old ones. It got to the point where all we wanted was fame and fortune. Both of these never came to us, but we did enough work to pull in a small following, but we never reached that milestone where we all felt fulfilled with our lives. All of us wanted to make more money and be able to travel to huge arenas, where we could perform for thousands. That never happened though. After looking back at what kind of experience I went through with the band, it made me realize the one passion I truly did have. It was actually the ability to write a story and portray a picture of what I was seeing in my mind. This brought about the next stage to my life.

Writing-

I enjoyed writing stories before, during, and after my music stage of life. I went to school at the Art Institute of Atlanta, where I was studying Audio Production. My journey there ended up leading me into an English class, where I met a wonderful teacher named, Ms. Jenkins. She was one of the most encouraging teachers I had ever had the honor of studying with. She taught me a lot about creative writing and even offered her services in editing to help me grow as a writer. It wasn’t until it was the end of the year when she gave me my first notebook to use for dreams that I happen to want to write about. That notebook now sits inside of a box in my closet, but it was the gesture that let me know that I was stepping in the right direction in my life.

I ended up writing scripts for some of the video production students, who struggled with creativity. It was fun joining in small groups and helping these kids out, but it didn’t start to dawn on me until about two years later when my dad sat me down in his office at his house.

Spreading My Wings-

My dad was struggling with his business, and he was leading in the direction of bankruptcy and searching for a solution for problems at work. He worked so hard for his business that he built the last 25 years. My mom played an important roll with him too, but it all came tumbling down. I don’t know when the quake started for my dad, but it didn’t reach me until I was halfway through college.

He sat me down in his office and looked up at me over the rim of his glasses. He had multiple documents in his hands from insurance companies, school bills, the mortgage, utilities, and anything else he owed money to. His credit was ruined and there was little hope for him to pull himself out of it. Actually, I remember a few months later he started going back to church and searched for answers in spirit trying to figure out what to do in his situation. Anyways, he told me that he could not take out another loan for my schooling and that I needed to start helping out. I was told that I needed to get a job to help pay for my schooling, my health and auto insurance. It was actually a fair deal, but my selfishness and ego didn’t see it that way. I felt like my dad was trying to punish me and make me fail. It wasn’t that at all.

If my dad did not make me step up my life like he did that day, I think I would still be living with them in the same position today. At the time, I was coming near the end of performing with my band and meeting the one I love today, Nadine. My band performed two more gigs after I met Nadine, and we split up because the guitarist wanted to join the army, I needed to make more money working in the grocery store, and the drummer went to school down in Valdosta, which was a distance away.

Nadine-

I remember meeting Nadine in a small pizzeria off of Lawrenceville Highway. It was inside of a strip mall, but they had open mics there, and my guitarist wanted to perform one of our last times there. We went in and one of our fans was there with her cousin, Nadine. I sat down at the table behind her with Luke. I couldn’t help but text Nadine’s cousin. I sent texts about how beautiful Nadine was and how much I liked her. It was actually kind of pathetic on my end of it haha! We exchanged numbers at the end of the night and ended going on a few dates afterwards.

I think meeting Nadine was not a coincidence in my life. I feel like it was God’s way of pointing me in the direction I needed to turn to. If it wasn’t for Nadine, I would’ve never continued to work at my job with the grocery store. I would be living with my parents. Quite possibly, I probably would have not had the motivation to build myself up. I had found my Eve, but I needed more in my life to feel like I was doing well in the public eye of my friends and family. I decided to become an Assistant Manager after three years of working for the same company.

I’m going to end this post here. it’s getting a bit long. Plus, I have work early in the morning. Please stay joyful and inspired by everything around you. There’s always a spark somewhere that is going to get your attention. You just have to be patient to grasp its meaning. Until tomorrow, sleep well and Happy Blogging!

Top Ten Quotes That Get me Through Each Day

1. “You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.” -Abraham Lincoln

2. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein

3. “Life’s like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re going to get.” -Forrest Gump

4. “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” -Henry David Thoreau

5. “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” Albert Einstein

6. “The No. 1 reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbors.” -Napoleon Hill

7. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” -Robert Frost

8. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou

9. “Be yourself–not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” -Henry David Thoreau

10. “You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can be grateful that thorn bushes have roses.” -Tom Wilson

Baby Steps

We all have those moments, where we want something so bad we can almost taste it, feel it, or smell it. Whatever desire you may want now, it is always a long road to retrieving it. The question I always ask myself when I want something is, what am I doing to get closer to that goal or that item I want? Am I working twice as hard to get it, or am I simply looking for short cuts that will eventually get me to my ultimate goal?

I browsed through a few books the past year about authors trying to inspire and teach people how to write. A lot of the advice was great advice. The only problem is, these writers took the plunge and decided to write full time. Now, that is an awesome story, but we all can’t be those writers that get handed a fancy check and a deal that’ll send us to the promise land. No, no, no, these writers did not just one day say, “Yup, I’m going to be a writer and I’m going to be a bestseller by the end of the year.”

There’s a difference between hard work and short cuts. For instance, I was hiking up Stone Mountain with Nadine a few months ago and we decided that it wasn’t going to be that long of a hike up the mountain. We brought two bottles of water, but they were only half full. (Big Mistake!) We climbed halfway up the side of the mountain, and we were exhausted. Now, I haven’t climbed up Stone Mountain for a long time, but we reached almost the peak of the mountain when we had almost no energy left to push forward. At that moment, I couldn’t remember if there was water at the top of the mountain because if there wasn’t, we were going to have to take the lift back down the mountain. We actually thought about cutting our hike short and walking back down the mountain from where we were because we were so tired. We ended up sitting down and talking about it. We decided to take the chance and continue forward up the mountain and to our surprise, there was a small concession stand at the top.

Now, if we had decided to give up when the mountain was getting steep, rocky, and tough, we would’ve missed out on the reward at the top. Our walk back to the car would have been torture without quenching our thirsts and feeding our bellies. Now, the reward for our trek up the mountain may not have meant much for some people, but to us, it was like gold pouring from the bottles.

When I think about this experience in my life, I think of what it’s like as a writer. We sit down at our place of meditation. Our fingers cramp up and press through the words. Our mind eventually becomes exhausted at a certain point because writing is a tough task for a lot of people. Especially when there are distractions that invade your writing time like Facebook, twitter, a spouse, television, events, friends, and family. We all have different responsibilities that interfere with our writing, but do we let it bring us down or aggravate us? No, most of the time it doesn’t. That is why, baby steps are the key to creating a piece of work that holds value to its readers.

I heard a story once about a woman who wrote twenty-one books within a year. She had them all published and now, she is just reaping the benefits. Now, I have many questions about this story because I want to know how many pages the books are, how well written are they, and how is the character development? Did she take a few short cuts in her writing to the point where her points were lost?

Also, I talked to an author once who said they wrote for eight hours a day and wrote at least 10,000 words a day or more. In my opinion, this is an awesome feat. Someone writing 10,000 words a day is a tough task, but it was a lot of dedication on her part. She ended up quitting her job and wrote full time. This caused her to sit down and have to write everyday to be able to provide an income for her family. Now, she’s doing very well with her career and continues to write professionally. She didn’t take any short cuts cause she spends a lot of time on outlines to be able to create these worlds in her head. Her outline, just like with any other author, is the life of her story.

These are just two stories I’ve heard over the last year and they are wonderful stories. Now, my type of writing is in baby steps now. I use to attempt to write at least 6,000-10,000 words a day back in February, but I was burnt out when the next month rolled in. I actually took a week break and didn’t get much done after I hit a spot in the story where I was lost. I did everything the author suggestion: create an outline, keep notes of all of your characters’ descriptions, draw maps for your world, and keep writing. The last part I kind of ignored with the keep writing part because I didn’t know which way I was going with my story after I had stopped writing for a week. That’s why writing is a lifestyle.

I currently have brought my word counts down to 500-1,000 words a day. I promote my work occasionally on social media, but I’m finding myself writing more through my blog. I actually enjoy doing this and writing books. Maybe one day I can finally reap the award of becoming a New York Times Bestseller, but even if I don’t reach that goal, I can at least say I made a few people happy with my writing. That really is the ultimate goal to spread the secret to happiness and inspiration.

Happy Blogging!