My First Interest (Love)

I sat there in Mrs. Weber’s Science class squinting at the screen as she scrolled through all of the notes that I was supposed to be jotting down. Although I was trying really hard to write the notes down, I was losing my train of thought quickly. Especially since the girl behind me kept me from even wanting to attempt to pay attention. My heart loosened its grip from my chest as though yearning to pull me closer to her. I was a shy kid.

The lights came on and the teacher decided to slip a fast one on all of us with a Pop Quiz. (Lovely.) I stared at that sheet of paper with only three measly questions that I could not remember because I was too damn focused on the girl behind me. I don’t know if it was that melon scent, or the way her blond hair accidentally¬† brushed the back of my neck every few minutes. Either way, it seemed like heaven to me. Now, just get rid of the quiz and find a way to introduce myself.

I turned around when all of the quizzes were picked up. We made eye contact for the first time in that first two weeks of school.

“Hey…” I had a hard time pulling the words out of my mouth.

“Hi!” she answered with a huge smile and joyful voice.

The bell rang.

We picked up our books and she went with her friends, while I still wondered how so much joy and excitement could fill a room in just a single word greeting.

I went home that night and thought about her a lot. I couldn’t stop thinking about her light blue tank top with her faded blue jeans. Every time my mind wandered all I could see was her waiting on the other end of the hallway for me. I was definitely the typical hopeless romantic, but I knew there was something different about her.

I sat in science class again with her, watching my teacher waddle across the room and groan throughout the whole lecture. I thought she was going to fall asleep before the kid across from me did. I found myself next to the girl today though. We had stumbled into each other while sitting down and had a lot to talk about. It’s very vague what most of our conversation was about, but I do remember one question that was asked.

“Want to go to the dance as my date?” I asked, feeling my chest almost collapse into my belly.

“Yeah! That would be fun!”

Now, at first I was a little worried that this girl may have bumped her head one too many times as a child because of how happy she seemed to be ALWAYS, but after a few weeks of really digging deep into who she was, I realized that she is naturally a happy person. She was actually my first kiss.

We were at the park one night watching my sister play softball. Our parents had started talking to each other and had a little trust after a while with letting us run off alone…. To talk.

“I don’t know how to say this, but I really like you,” I said, feeling my fingers intertwine with hers as we held hands. “I just don’t know how to handle these feelings anymore.”

“I like you too,” she said, leaning in to kiss me on the lips.

I felt a jolt of joy shoot through my body. It was one of the best feelings I had ever felt at a young age. I grabbed her other hand and swung it in between us playfully. I pulled her towards me and we locked lips. It wasn’t until our tongues started dancing that we pulled apart and realized we both were out of sync with each other. We sat down in the bushes for a moment and watched the game from the other side of the park.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling embarrassed by my inexperience.

“For what?” she asked, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“For not being better at kissing.”

She laughed and pulled me back to the ground with her. We stared at the treetops as the sun was setting across the softball fields.

“Ya know, we could always try again,” she said.

And that is exactly what we did…

To Be Continued…

Bullying, Really, Dude?

Alright. I just woke up so I’m browsing through some articles in my news feed, and watching the news on television. I’ve come across a number of bullying articles, and I keep pondering the question, why the hell is this still going on?

There are too many cases of teenagers being bullied and taking their own life because they can’t handle the harassment anymore. It extremely saddens me to hear.that a parent says they have talked to their child about the subject, yet the parent bullies others in front of their child. It just makes me wonder if they only talk to their child just to make themselves feel better.

I want to point out that I have never talked about this or let anyone know what happened when I was younger. I remember on multiple occasions I was alone in the bathroom at school and these two guys would come in at the same time I would. They would watch me from the sink on the very end, where they would hang out and just talk trash about administrators and teachers. Well, I usually ended up getting the bulk of the beating whenever they saw me wash my hands.

They would approach me and ask me questions. I was a shy and quiet kid at the time who wanted to avoid confrontation. They asked me if I had ever been beat up? Have I ever been in a fight? Sometimes they asked, if I was too stupid to understand what they were talking about? (This last question was because I had to go to a separate language counselor because I had a hard time pronouncing words properly.) Well, on multiple occasions I was pushed around, and one time I was outnumbered by four guys. They never hit me in the face because they wanted my bruises hidden under my clothes.

I never told anyone about this time of my life for fear that I would be in trouble with them. I only saw one person watch me get beat up and a few minutes later administrators came in to stop it but by then, they had stopped hitting me and the teachers asked all of us questions. I never did snitch on them. I kept it hidden, and I never heard a word from my parents about it because the school system never told them. They didn’t even try to discipline these guys cause there was no proof, but honestly ¬†I should’ve stopped that.

I know that was a long time ago, but the effects it created could be positive, as well as, negative. I just wish I knew it was okay to report people like that, but I was too young to understand there would not be backfire for getting these guys off my back.

Anyone else have to deal with bullies, whether it was you, a friend, or your child? If so, how did you handle it?